Now that I can recognise depression and anxiety, I realise how much they have ruled my life the last few years. And even knowing the signs, knowing that it is there, I still can’t beat it. Because something happens and it makes it worse. It actually impares my ability to make decisions because I get so worried about the decision. From small things about what clothes to wear to big things about taking a holiday that I’ve saved up for. I am glad I’m seeing my psychologist on Friday, because I need to talk. I thought I was getting better at this. I’m not. I need to practice more.